Being healthy will be the death of me.

So I heard back from my GP today regarding the kidney stone that tried to kill me. It’s a calcium oxalate stone. This is one of the most common kidney stones, which I guess is good? Maybe? It’s not a super-rare, your doctor has only read about them type thing, right? So I’ve got that going for me. Here’s the kicker. The diet they (and by they, I mean Dr. Google) recommend for avoiding another stone pretty much screws me out of everything I subside on. Salt. Animal proteins. Soy. Vitamin C. My perfect meal is a jumbo Slim Jim, many glasses of vanilla soy milk, followed by an Emergen-C chaser. Gee..can’t begin to imagine how this stone formed…. For realz, I drink a TON of Emergen-C all year long. And salt isn’t just a seasoning in my house, it’s a staple. And you all know how I feel about my coffee, I’m afraid to even look to see what it says about coffee intake. I see a specialist in a couple of weeks and I’m sure they’ll lay it on me then.

Anyhoo, I’ll cross that bridge when I have to. But not today. Today we drink coffee! And eat beef jerky! Huzzah! Whilst out perusing the deals today at various second hand shops, I saw some things that scared me and it got me thinking. I share a lot of the things I love to shop for here with you guys, why not share the things that I will never, every buy? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Not if you paid me. Metallic gold is bad enough. On platform sandals..just….no.

Next item that induced the heebie-jeebies as well as causing a flashback of my father having to carry me screaming out of just about every kid’s event he took us to..

See the Holy Mother behind him? She has the right idea. Throw some Holy water at him and pray for a bolt of lighting to strike his creepy, child-snatching a**. You know he drives a windowless van, too.

Getting rid of these night-terror inducing pieces of porcelain seems to be the thing to do, since there were TONS of them. BAGS of them in Goodwill today.